


(The) Kids Are Not Alright

by musicmillennia



Category: The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Abortion, Jessica Jones Deserves Support, Multi, Unplanned Pregnancy, discussions of abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 09:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12187440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/musicmillennia
Summary: She goes to Matt because the bastard probably knows.





	(The) Kids Are Not Alright

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna go ahead and blame prouvairablehulk for every poly story I write.

She goes to Matt because the bastard probably knows. He's weird like that.

He knows she's following him. She knows he knows she's following him. But aside from a side look―as much a side look as Matt Murdock can give―he doesn't say anything.

He definitely knows.

When they reach his building, he holds the door for her. She grunts when she passes him, since he won't see her nod. (Maybe he'd hear the wind or something if she did, though. 'Cause he's weird.)

"So," he says when they're inside, "to what do I owe the pleasure, Jessica?"

Without really meaning to, Jessica crosses her arms and curls her shoulders in. Bending around her stomach.

"Cut the crap, Murdock. You know why I'm here."

Matt's sardonic smile fades. He's still for a second. Jessica almost reconsiders. When he finally nods, she blows out a long breath. Because  _this_ has made her weird too.

"Did you smell it or something?" she drawls.

The smile twitches back. She prefers that instead of―whatever else. "The way you walk changed too."

"But you still smelled it."

His smile grows. Asshole. "Yes."

Jessica scoffs. "Weirdo."

He tilts his head towards her. "I can't hear a heartbeat, though. Still early."

She didn't know she'd been worried about that until he said it and strings cut in her shoulders. 22 days until the heart beats. That's what she'd read. But to hear it confirmed― _fuck_.

"Yeah, well. Only been a few days."

Matt inclines his head. But he keeps his trap shut. Leaving it to Jessica to steer the conversation. Fuck him and his thoughtful bullshit.

Jessica purses her lips, fingers clenching on her arms. Then it comes out in a rush: "Claire gave me a list of abortion clinics. I made an appointment for tomorrow." As an afterthought, she murmurs, "And I―don't know which one of you's the dad."

Even though she knows him, she expects disappointment. Or, considering it's Matt, some kind of rage, if not now, then when some fuck in an alley makes a wrong move. But instead of going tight-lipped or white-knuckling his cane, he remains as relaxed as can be.

As if he'd expected this.

And is  _okay with it_.

He even asks, "Do you want me to come with you?" all calm and sweet, like he fucking cares, and that shouldn't be a surprise but―but it really fucking is.

"This could be  _your_ kid!" Jessica snaps, uncrossing her arms at last.

"Technically, it's nothing but a batch of cells right now," Matt replies, "And it's not my decision to make."

"You say that like you're―like it doesn't matter!"

Matt takes a couple steps to her. "Of course it matters. It's your body, Jessica. I care more about your feelings and what you want. And to be honest," smiling wryly, "I don't think any of us are equipped to handle a child."

Fuck. Fucking― _fuck_.

Jessica swallows hard. "Are you really leaving this all to me? I―I can't even keep my damn phone on the charger."

"And I'm a blind lawyer with anger management issues. Like I said: not equipped. But if you decide when you get there that you want to keep it, then we'll try our best. I'm sure Luke and Danny will feel the same."

Jessica snorts, glancing at the ugly ass billboard outside. "Danny'll freak. He'll probably decorate a nursery and. Buy flowers or some shit."

Her insides mesh. She can almost  _feel_ ―she takes a sharp breath and flexes her fingers. This whole thing's got her fucked up. Even more fucked up. Whatever.

Matt telegraphs his movements. She lets him touch her arm.

"Danny lets his emotions run away with him―"

"Look who's talking."

Matt huffs but doesn't deny it. "He just needs to talk it out. Luke and I can handle that if you want."

Jessica clenches her jaw. "No. I'll do it." She looks at his tie. Red, of course, the asshole.

"They've noticed something's been going on with you. But it's still your decision. I won't tell them if you don't want me to."

Why does her throat hurt? Fucking hormones. "How the fuck are you making this so easy?"

Matt briefly ducks his head. "I'm learning that when you have the right people in your life―when you _let_ them, rely on them...things don't have to be as much of a mess."

Jessica rolls her eyes. "Still a mess, though."

Matt squeezes her shoulder. "But doable."

It's quiet for a second. Their city yammers outside.

"It's probably Luke's," Jessica mumbles, idly bouncing her hand on her side, "His jizz is probably superpowered too."

Matt chuckles. "Very likely. But it's yours too."

Jessica stares at his glasses. "Yeah."

"...do you want me to come with you?" he asks again.

Jessica braces her tongue against the roof of her mouth. She can handle this on her own. Was handling it until she realized five days after the damn test that her blind weirdo lawyer could sense shit like a whale. Doesn't matter though, 'cause she can still do this alone. It's what she does best, what she knows, and right now, she could do with some familiarity.

But Matt's also familiar. Somehow, she's let him, Danny, and Luke become familiar. Well, more like they've been so stubborn with trusting her that she's been worn down through sheer exposure. Still. Only Danny says the L word, but there's no expectation, there's no―it's just. It's  _good_. Jessica doesn't just have  _good_ in her life. She wasn't built for it, literally. Her whole life's one ongoing earthquake and shitstorm at once.

Matt's tilting his head again. Is he listening to her heartbeat? Fucker.

Jessica inevitably looks at her stomach. She's amazed she hasn't done it yet, considering she's been doing it ever since a shithole convenience store bathroom gave her the worst news she's had in a while. Since she's  _her_ , that's saying something.

Matt's hand is still on her shoulder. He's not bad at his job, at least to the extent that he knows when to be patient. Let the case simmer. Though he doesn't see Jessica as a case, none of them do, and ain't that a fucking miracle.

Fuck. Just. For once in her damn lonely life, she―she just doesn't want to be alone. Sure, she shares a bed with three men and has her back covered in a fight, but in  _this_. In this kinda stuff...

Jessica straightens her shoulders and gives Matt an address. Matt's smile warms, and for the first time in a really fucking long time, Jessica might be able to think that it'll be okay.

* * *

Clinic's small and poor as shit, but Claire's nothing if not reliable, and the receptionist hands Jessica paperwork without a hint of judgment. Matt follows Jessica to a set of cracking plastic green chairs, faded like the off-white walls. A couple fake plants are shoved in corners, and two pictures of flowers make up the rest of the decorations. Classy.

Jessica fills out the paperwork and tries not to be sick. "Don't hold my hand."

Matt's lip quirks. "I've just recovered from broken bones."

Luke and Danny won't know until after. Not that Jessica could ever be swayed to keep it. It's just better this way.

"Your freaky ears listening in?"

"They're kind," Matt murmurs, "Professional, understanding. One woman is crying, and the doctor is tired with her. Brooklyn accent."

Jessica wants that doctor. She'd rather have that than  _kind_ and  _professional_.

"Dr. Nunez," Matt says after a beat. "That's what the patient's calling her. Patient's apparently still on the fence."

Jessica scoffs, flipping to the next page. "Why did she come here then?"

"That's what Nunez is asking. Demanding, really."

Jessica definitely wants this doctor. In  _Other Comments/Concerns_ , she jots that down.

"The place next door is actually full of prostitutes," Matt remarks, "Very convenient, I suppose."

"Sex workers know what they're about. Shit, what is this, a novel?"

"From what I've seen of medical documents, yes."

"Don't be a smartass, Murdock."

Matt smiles.

A few minutes later, the crying woman hurries out. Jessica finally signs the form and hands it over. The receptionist reviews it, raises an eyebrow at the request, but shrugs under Jessica's own eyebrow.

"That the dad?" she asks instead.

Jessica jerks her chin at the forms. "When's the doc available?"

"Should be a couple minutes at most. With all the shit goin' on at the White House, this is a slow day."

Jessica nods curtly and returns to her seat. She sits a little closer to Matt. He doesn't comment.

* * *

She tells Matt to wait there when it's her turn.

"Good luck," he whispers.

"Shut up," she grumbles.

* * *

Afterwards, Jessica heads to the nearest bar to get shit-faced. If she doesn't, she might throw up. Better to vomit from alcohol.

She tells Matt to fuck off. He says, "I've never tried this bar."

"You're not trying it with me."

Then she sighs and mutters, "Thanks."

Matt smiles. "I was wrong.  _That_ is the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Jessica flips him off. Makes sure to smack it against his chest so he can feel it. He grunts from the impact.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Jessica."

"Come between me and my drinks any longer, Murdock, and I'm gonna break the wall with your face."

"Thank you for letting me come with you."

Jessica nearly rears back. "What?"

Matt carefully holds his cane with two hands. "It must've been hard for you to accept me coming along. Thank you for letting me be there anyway. You deserved to have someone there." A small, self-deprecating smile crosses his face. "Even though you didn't have a choice in telling me."

Oh, fuck this guy.

"I could've ignored you," Jessica snaps, "I could've told somebody else." She probably wouldn't've. "I didn't. Cut the shit so I can get my booze."

Matt kisses her cheek like they're in a fucking movie. "Feel free to drunk call me. Chances are I'll be in the neighborhood."

Jessica rolls her eyes. "When are you not? I swear if you took a step outta Hell's Kitchen you'd combust."

He neither confirms nor denies.

She drags him into an alley and kisses him properly. He knows better than to put his hands on her neck the way he does for the others, opting to grasp her upper arm and keep his free hand on his cane. She digs her nails into his sleeves. The clinic still drenches them, but Matt feels the same, just shy of too hot with some maneuvering so his glasses don't slip between them.

She's torn his jacket.

"You've got a million others just like it," Jessica says as he takes it off.

Matt pats it on his elbow and says, "It's not as if I'm able to tell."

"Fuck. Off."

She feels. Okay? Something close to okay. And really, that's enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Might continue this, but for now, I'm way too tired tbh. 
> 
> First stab at these characters, so. I hope I did okay.


End file.
